Posted by Henry Butz on April 05, 2006 at 07:33:20:
Someone talked me into using a cable modem about four years ago. The cable company Internet service was pretty good - nice and fast, hardly any down-time... until last December when the service became very flaky. I could not access my own website from home, forcing me to use a dial-up connection. This was intolerable. I could get through to some websites, but not others. It was dropping packets like crazy. FTP was impossible. Speaking briefly with customer support didn't get me anywhere. They said the problem was on my own computer. I don't think so. So, I dumped cable and switched to DSL for less money for a faster, more reliable connection.
Three solid months of flawless service. Installation was not smooth, but a quick phone call and I was up and running... until last night when the little red light comes on. My worst nightmares are becoming realized. I needed to speak with Verizon customer support. The "DSL" led was solid green while the "Internet" led was solid red. I knew within a few seconds that the phone line was good, I had a dial tone, but something dropped on their end. This should be simple, no?
Traversing Verizon's telephone menus was like playing a game of Dungeons and Dragons. You are in a room full of twisted passages, all different. I was pressing '1' for this, '6' for that, '2' for this, '1' for that until I finally got through the maze of pre-recorded messages and made the computer understand that I had a connection problem. Then, this mechanical female voice started to step me through diagnosing my problem. 30 minutes have passed. The female voice instructed me to type in a URL and download an ActiveX control. uh, like, if I could do this I wouldn't be calling. It looped over and over again, asking me to type this into my browser. I stared quietly at the phone while the female voice kept repeating, "I did not understand your response. Enter this into your browser. Are you there? I did not understand your response..."
Frantically, I pressed "0" over and over again to break out of the automated loop. The mechanical female sensed my frustration and comforted me, "I will put you through to a representative shortly, but first I need more information. Press '1' for this, press '2' for that." Several more minutes passed. It has now been 45 minutes since the start of my phone call.
A human being finally picks up the phone. He asks more questions, What is your name? Address? Phone number you are calling about? Callback number? Ok, what seems to be the problem? 50 minutes have passed. I say, "The red Internet light is on, but the DSL light is solid green." He says, "Oh, that's good. Now, this is a business DSL line?" I said, "no, residential." Oh - you've reached the business technical support. I can forward you to the residential DSL support department if you like? I clenched my teeth and stained to keep my composure as I say, "Wonderful!"
Another human being comes on. He's somewhat helpful, but seems distracted by me growling into the phone from time to time. I said that the red Internet light is on. He has me plugging and unplugging things, answering more questions, I'm moving things away from the wall so I can plug the router directly into the jack. One hour and ten minutes have passed. He finally says, "It's starting to look like the problem is outside of your building." Like, DUH! I knew THAT before I called.
He said they would work on the problem and call back on Thursday to check out how I'm doing. Meanwhile, I'm frazzled and my dinner is over-cooked. I put my foot on the edge of the bed to finally take off my socks, but slipped. My foot slid between the frame and the mattress, snapping the particle board mattress support underneath. Attempting to keep my composure, I slide out the heavy piece of wood and flip it over so the crack is away from the edge, knowing that it will not fit upside down. I could take a trip to Home Depot, but the thought of rebuilding my bed was too painful. I got out my jigsaw and I "modified it." After I put my bed back together, there was sawdust everywhere. I ran the dust-buster over it, but it did nothing with the wood shavings. I had to get out the canister vac and clean entire apartment.
Now, it's 8pm. I ate my cold, but over-cooked dinner as I notice the DSL router flicker back to life. I gestured my middle finger in the general direction of the router, which is now glowing green with a perfect connection.